Selflove is something that I tend to talk about a lot and the reason it is featured heavily in my life is because it is important, well it is to me anyway. In a world where we are constantly being judged, we often start judging ourselves an comparing ourselves to others and this in turn leads to self loathing, depression, anxiety and can lead to deeper health issues. That is why it is so important to learn to love yourself and embrace who you are fully.
So how do we flip that switch and suddenly start to love ourselves? Well, the truth is you just can’t but you can start by making the choice to accept yourself and that will be the beginning of a beautiful journey.
So Why Embrace Selflove?
Ever heard of the phrase ‘Nobody’s perfect’? Well I just want to say that it is a load of rubbish because here’s the kicker – Everybody is perfect because every little thing that you love about yourself and every little flaw/imperfection is what makes you who you are. And despite what others may think, or more importantly, what you think about yourself, that person is beautiful!
It took me a long time to realise this but I always thought that being beautiful meant that you had to be pretty, have a good body, have perfect skin, no cellulite, etc but then I realised, that’s just what the beauty industry wants you to think because our insecurities are what keeps them in business. The truth is, everyone is beautiful, just like flowers – they come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes but each one is just as beautiful as the other.
So here’s an idea, why don’t we think about all the things that we don’t like about ourselves and try to find the beauty in it? If you want to start small that’s fine, why not try it with just one thing that you see as an imperfection and see how you feel at the end of it.
So anyway, here are my ‘imperfections’ and my reasons for why they are beautiful…
When I was younger I had quite a lot of operations for various different reasons so accumulated lots of scars in the process, I am also one of the clumsiest people ever so if I can find a way to hurt myself and leave a scar you can guarantee it will happen. My scars have never been something that I have actually been massively bothered about as they have always just been a part of me but I did tend to be a little self conscious about what other people might think so I would avoid wearing certain clothes and tended to cover them up when I was out in public. Now, however I see them as proof that I have lived, I have experienced pain and come through it so in effect all of my scars are the remnants of my very own battle wounds.
The dreaded stretchmarks, and I have a lot of them – everyone has them in some shape or form and as much as I used to think they were unsightly and ugly, they are now my tiger stripes. They are my proof that I have grown and developed as a woman and as a person.
I haven’t always been fat but I have been fat for the majority of my life. I am not someone who finds it easy to lose weight and my weight has been a constant battle because if I even look at food it goes straight to my hips and due to my hip injury I just can’t simply exercise as much as I would like – plus I spent years avoiding exercise as much as I possibly could and generally not taking care of myself very well. I used to hate the fact that my weight was a such a struggle. I battled with eating disorders and was constantly trying lots of fad diets, slim fast, etc and it just made me absolutely miserable . I spent most of my time consumed with self hatred because I hated the way I looked and then I would turn to food for comfort, there’s that vicious cycle again.
All my friends were settling down and I felt like I was all alone and no one would love me because I couldn’t even love myself, then I actually took a breath and realised that despite my weight I was still a good person, I had friends and family around me that cared and it was then that I realised, the only person that mattered and was bothered by my weight was ME! That was when everything changed, I started to accept myself for who I was on the inside and not what I saw when I looked in the mirror and became a happier and more content person, I viewed the world through different eyes and saw the beauty in myself that was previously masked by fear and self loathing and as a result I have started taking care of myself more with regards to making healthier choices. The difference now is that I don’t eat healthier or exercise to change the way I look, I do it because I care about myself enough to want to… and that is beautiful.
Being short is not something that I have ever had a problem with but I have been picked on in the past because of it so I thought I would touch on it… My argument to those who have a problem with me being short – all good things come in small packages!
I actually love being short because it gives me options. I can be my natural height in a cute pair of flats or if I want to be a little taller I can throw on a sassy pair of heels and be whatever height I want to be (within reason).
So, now it’s your turn – what beauty do you find in your so called imperfections?