I have sang for as long as I can remember and looking through old video footage I started at a pretty young age so it was pretty obvious to everyone around me that I would grow up to be involved with music somehow. As a child I always just sang cover songs to backing tracks because I never had the patience to actually learn an instrument (although I wish I had) but when I did my music GCSE I had to submit some songs that I had written myself. These are songs that no one, other than me and whoever marked my GSCE music tapes had ever heard because quite frankly, I never thought they were any good. Since then, I never tried to write my own music, I was perfectly happy just plodding along playing in cover bands and having people singing along with us because they knew the songs. That is until I met James…
I met James in 2014 as we were both looking to form an acoustic duo, he played guitar and I sang so it was a prefect combination. We started rehearsing covers and eventually he inspired me to start writing. Our partnership was pretty short lived as he moved away about 3-4 months after we had started but he had actually lit a fire under my ass and I had realised that I actually quite enjoyed the writing side of things so I went in pursuit of another guitarist to accompany me, I was lucky enough to find another guitarist called James.
In May 2015, around 4 months after I had started writing I was given the opportunity by CEI Events to perform at a songwriters night with a couple of other artists. The thought of this was amazing but absolutely terrifying at the same time so I agreed.
The night of the 28th June came around extremely quickly and arriving at the venue I was absolutely struck with fear. Every other artist there had been performing and writing for years, they were established and well respected but then there was me, a 30 year old woman about the play her songs in public for the very first time. It took me a little by surprise as I didn’t usually have a problem getting on stage and singing normally but this felt completely different. I felt vulnerable, like every part of me was on show for the world to see and as someone who struggles with anxiety on pretty much a daily basis I didn’t even know if I would be able to go on.
Luckily, everyone there was absolutely amazing and they made me feel comfortable enough to just give it a go, I mean what exactly did I have to lose? The set up of the night really helped too as we didn’t just go on and do a set each, all the artists were on stage together and each of us took it in turns to do a song before the next person did theirs, etc. My first song came and I chose one of the first songs I had written as it was the one I was most comfortable with and although the performance went okay, I could hear the nerves in my voice. Thanks to the audience being so welcoming and engaged, my confidence grew with each song I did so the night got better as it went on and I decided that if I could find the strength within myself to do that gig I would be fine to to set myself up as a real singer songwriter so that is what I did.
I got myself a manager, I played lots more gigs and I even released some tracks which is not bad for someone who was going to give up at the first hurdle because I was scared that if people didn’t like my music it meant that people wouldn’t like me. Now I am here, writing about how I overcame my fears and insecurities knowing that if I can do it, so can you!
The moral of this story is:
No matter how hard something seems or how much fear you feel, if you want something you should just go for it because it could open so many doors for you. Even if you fail, at least you can move forward without any regrets because you can always say that you tried.
Let me know what you have achieved or even want to achieve by overcoming your biggest fears in the comments below!
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